Why Promise Rings Are Bad (Pre-Selection Guide)

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Promise rings are regarded as a symbol of love and commitment. However, the controversy over promise rings has been plagued by controversy. Many people think that this is a ring that is divorced from reality and that the symbolic meaning it represents is It is false, but many people think that promise rings are very beautiful for couples and play a very important role in their subsequent engagement and marriage during their relationship. There are also extreme people who think that promise rings are a complete waste. Feelings are a waste of time. This article will analyze the controversies and disadvantages of promise rings to help you make a rational judgment about promise rings.

Disadvantages and Controversies of Promise Rings

1. A symbol of love or unnecessary pressure?

For most idealists, a promise ring is a romantic expression, indicating that it is an action or measure to speed up our love. This is a pavement for subsequent relationship strengthening and marriage.
Controversy: Other realists believe that promise rings can create unnecessary pressure on couples, which may come from being vague about the future and confused about the relationship, or not being ready, especially when one partner feels unwanted. When forced to agree to a commitment they are not ready for.

2. Clear intention

Ideal: Ideally, couples feel that giving a promise ring is a sign of mutual understanding between each other and an expectation for a future life together. It is not a simple commitment to love or telling you how much I love you.
Problem: In fact, giving a promise ring can lead to confusion and misunderstanding among people of different personalities about the seriousness of the relationship and the timetable for future commitments. Falsehoods, lies, and betrayal may occur at any time, they may think. This behavior is very frivolous.

3. Cultural and social expectations

Tradition: Promise rings have sentimental value and are a widely accepted part of the relationship process.
Modern Skepticism: In contrast, modern perspectives often question these junk symbols, arguing that they are outdated in contemporary relationship dynamics and that love cannot be proven with a ring, it is all lip service.

4. Commercialization and materialism

Romantic ideals: The romantic idea of a promise ring will be heavily described by jewelers, and these jewelers will also spend a lot of money to promote the promise ring in the media to gain people’s support and purchase. This situation has actually happened before, ” A Diamond is Forever”.
Criticism: Materialists believe that this kind of romanticization will lead to commercialization (in fact, this phenomenon has already happened), bundling love with expensive rings, and shifting the focus to the material aspects of the ring, rather than the emotions and responsibilities behind it!

5. Youth and decision-making

Young Love: Promise rings are very popular among young couples.
Maturity concerns: Immature love will cause great risk of rupture. Premature commitment may increase the bondage between each other, causing the relationship to break down because of a small thing.

6. Emotional consequences

Strengthens the bond: For those who have purchased promise rings, exchanging them can strengthen the emotional bond and warm up their feelings for each other.
Potential Harm: However, if the relationship ends, the promise ring may become a painful reminder and cause emotional distress, which is an extremely painful process.

What Relationship Experts Say About Promise Rings

Dr. John Gottman, a well-known relationship researcher, emphasizes that while the meaning of a promise ring is important to a couple in love, the commitment it symbolizes should be supported by true understanding, effective communication, and the basic principles of a healthy relationship (such as trust), respect and shared values).

Dr. Sue Johnson, an expert in emotionally focused therapy, advises on the emotional aspects of exchanging promise rings: While promise rings can be beautiful outward symbols of love and commitment, the emotional bond and attachment between partners Safety is what really matters.

Esther Perel, a therapist and author who specializes in relationships, has a unique take on how promise rings reflect modern relationships: Promise rings are very romantic; I also have a promise ring, but it may also bring the risk of expectations. Excessive expectations often lead to greater disappointment. These pressures can lead to cracks in the relationship.

Dr. Gary Chapman, author of “The Five Love Languages”, evaluates promise rings in the context of the love language of “gift giving”. He believes that for young people entering the relationship stage, receiving a promise ring It can satisfy deep emotional needs and serve as a powerful expression of “I love you”. For those people who are more serious about feelings, different expressions of love may have more important meanings, and they are more eager to show love in action. deep.

The Unexpected Pressure of a Promise Ring

1. Premature commitment
Promise rings instill a sense of obligation, as if I accept this promise ring, I must plan my future according to its symbolism. In fact, this is what happens around most people, the ring will speed up the development of a romantic relationship, but this may lead to premature engagement and discussion of the future of married life before both parties are fully ready. This pace can be overwhelming, especially for young lovers who may not be emotionally ready to deal with the consequences of such a commitment.
2. Inconsistent expectations
It is normal for people with different personalities to have different understandings of promise rings. One party regards it as a pavement towards marriage and his commitment to love, while the other party only regards it as a sign of a strong relationship between the couple, which leads to the inconsistency between reality and expectations. If the relationship doesn’t work out as expected after a promise ring is exchanged, feelings of an unfulfilled promise can arise and create significant emotional stress.

3. Questioning the future of the relationship
Giving a promise ring may cause a couple to worry about the future and question whether she or he is the right person for a long-term commitment. People worry about the consequences of a bad relationship because of the fear of breaking their promise and the meaning of the promise ring, making it more difficult to resolve relationship issues in the future.
4. Personal independence
Promise rings, especially among young people, are viewed as a form of emotional bondage and accepting wearing them means losing one’s independent identity (singleness). Rings are sometimes seen as a symbol of ownership and exclusivity, which may conflict with personal values.

Stories of Promise Rings Leading to Negative Consequences

I once knew such a sweet couple, Emily and Alex, both in their early twenties. After dating for more than two months, Alex and Emily quickly confirmed their relationship, and their relationship is very sweet. They often show their photos on Instagram, and Alex came to express his gratitude. She gave her a promise ring as a promise of love and as a precursor to his proposal to Emily. Emily thought their relationship was serious and enjoyed it, but she had not considered getting married at all. She was at a loss for the moment. She felt that the promise ring was a kind of mental and life pressure on her, making it difficult for her to make a commitment to a future that she was not ready for. The promise ring was meant to bring them closer, but Emily, disturbed by the unspoken expectations it represented, distanced himself from him, creating a rift in their relationship. In the end, this love died.

Other ways to express love and commitment

I believe that expressing love and commitment cannot show mutual love with just a ring. Such an act is naive and unrealistic. Real love and commitment are the responsibility of the relationship, and the ability to take it seriously and devote yourself to it. We always say that love is the result of two people’s joint efforts. This means that it requires mutual actions to express love and commitment, rather than something that can be summed up by a promise ring. When both parties see the responsibility paid, then it is reasonable to give or exchange any commemorative rings at this time.


Therefore, it is better to treat the promise ring with caution. Please fulfill the responsibility of love first, and then consider marriage and the future. An overly anxious promise is too superficial and will have a huge impact on both parties. When choosing a promise ring, please Think again, not just for the other person, but also whether your relationship has reached this point. Sometimes just being together for companionship is a very happy choice.


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